I love this post from the Coaches Toolbox site….

Some thoughts on the mindset of a winner to share with your athletes. I hope you can find a few that are useful…

What makes one person a winner and other people losers? How they think! Your self image determines your ability and your success. You will be ready mentally if you are thinking success. For instance:

A WINNER is always ready to tackle something new… a loser is prone to believe it can’t be done.

A WINNER isn’t afraid of competition… losers excuse themselves with the idea that the competition can beat them.

A WINNER makes a mistake and says, “I was wrong”… a loser makes a mistake and says, “It wasn’t my fault,” and blames someone else.

A WINNER is challenged by a problem and goes through it.. a loser does not want to face it, tries to go around it, but never gets by it.

A WINNER realizes there is no time like the present to get a job done… a loser is prone to procrastinate with the hope that things will get better tomorrow.

A WINNER thinks positively, acts positively, and lives positively… a loser usually has a negative attitude and a negative approach to everything.

A WINNER says “Let’s find out…” a loser says, “Nobody knows.”

A WINNER makes commitments… a loser makes empty promises.

A WINNER says, “I’m good, but not as good as I should be…”· a loser says, “I’m not as bad as a lot of other people.”

A WINNER learns from those who are superior… a loser tries to tear down those who are superior.

A WINNER credits his “good luck” for winning-even though It isn’t good luck; a loser blames “bad luck” for losing-even though it isn’t bad luck.

A WINNER knows how and when to say “Yes” and “No”; a loser says, “Yes, but’ and “Perhaps not” at the wrong times, for the wrong reasons.

A WINNER Isn’t nearly as afraid of losing as a loser is secretly afraid of winning.

A WINNER works harder than a loser, and has more time; a loser Is always “Too busy” to do what is necessary.

A WINNER shows he’s sorry by making up for it, a loser says, “I’m sorry,” but does the some thing the next time.

A WINNER knows what to fight for, and what to compromise on; a loser compromises on what he shouldn’t and fights for what isn’t worthwhile fighting about.

A WINNER listens a loser just waits until it’s his turn to talk.

A WINNER, would rather be admired than liked, although he would prefer both; a loser would rather be liked than admired, and Is even willing to pay the price of mild contempt for It.

A WINNER feels strong enough to be gentle; a loser Is never gentle-he Is either weak or petty tyrannous by turns.

A WINNER feels responsible for more than his Job: a loser says, “I only work here.”

A WINNER says, “There ought to be a better way to do It,” a loser says, “That’s the way It’s always been done here.”

A WINNER paces himself; a loser has only two speeds: hysterical & lethargic.

A WINNER works hard to achieve his goals, a loser just gets by.

The Winner is always part of the answer; The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program; The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says,”Let me do it;” The Loser says;” That is not my job.”

The Winner sees an answer for every problem; The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner says,” It may be difficult but it is possible”; The Loser says,”It may be possible but it is too difficult.”

Winners have dreams; Loser have schemes.

Winners say,” I must do something”; Losers say,”Something must be done.”

Winners are a part of the team; Losers are apart from the team.

Winners see the gain; Losers see the pain.

Winners see possibilities; Losers see problems.

Winners believe in win/win; Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

Winners see the potential; Losers see the past.

Winners are like a thermostat; Losers are like thermometers.

Winners choose what they say; Losers say what they choose.

Winners use hard arguments but soft words; Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things; Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: “Don’t do to others what you would, not want them to do to you”;
Losers follow the philosophy, “Do it to others before they do it to you.”

Winners make it happen; Losers let it happen.

SO IF YOU, WANT TO BE A WINNER, THINK LIKE A WINNER… ACT LIKE A WINNER… AND SOONER THAN YOU THINK, YOU’LL BE A WINNER TOO!

As kids enter our program, there seem to be different “stages” that they present.  While there may be some others that are missing, here is a broad hierarchy of those stages:

Stage 1:  “My parents signed me up to do this stuff” or “I am slower than the other kids, how do I get faster?” or “My coach says I need to get__________”

This stage is sometimes parent-driven/coach-driven, sometimes athlete-driven.  More often than not, it is the parent who makes the initial contact, seeing a problem, thus seeking a solution.

Stage 2:  “I can’t_______, I have to go train” or “Do I really have to go to train?”

The second stage is past the honeymoon phase and the athlete, who wants to get better, hasn’t quite bought in that the time investment is important.

Stage 3:  “I am going to train today”

While the athlete isn’t 100% sold, they understand that this is going to help them become better, as it is a necessary evil.  Very much like homework is needed to get better grades, training outside the sport itself is needed to get better at the sport.

Stage 4:  “I get to train today”

This is a great time to be around the athlete; they are “all-in” to the benefits of training, of feeling good after a positive session, are having fun, are seeing results, are building confidence and body awareness, all leading to a heightened state of physical literacy, or a higher physical IQ.  These athletes are very much self-motivated, driven and extremely coachable.  They are asking questions, understanding the “how” and the “why”, not just the “what” of training.

 

Stage 5:  “Training is my life”

This is the stage where, irrespective of athletics, training is a fundamental core concept that is central to their well-being and happiness.  They are an athlete forever, whereby physical activity, playing and structured exercise are a way of life, not something in the way of their life.

There was a lot of positive feedback from our previous post on the differences between coaching vs. training.  Thank you for that!  Then, a couple of weeks later, I came across a post by one the best coaches around, Martin Rooney, and he had some great insight and comparisons.  Here is his take….

 

After spending time in Germany, I discovered the Germans don’t even have a word for “coach” in their vocabulary.  The word “trainer” is broadly used and can be interpreted a number of different ways.  This fact reminded me even though the word coach does exist in English, it is misunderstood and poorly defined.

When I asked people what the term “coach” meant to them, I was surprised to receive a bunch of negative interpretations.  In sport, “coach” can conjure up an aggressive Little League dad yelling at an umpire while only concerning himself about his own kid or getting a win.  When applied to business or life, I was told the word “coach” can represent a person that attended to a weekend course in order to get paid to help others, but can’t seem to help themselves.  And in relation to the gym, some people imagined the drill sergeant using pushups to punish a client for a poor performance.  These viewpoints troubled me about the use of the word “coach”.

According to the dictionary, the word “coach” is defined as either “separate parts of a train or horse-drawn carriage,” or “a person who is responsible for managing or training a person or team.” This definition is grossly inadequate. Being called a coach is one of the most honorable and respectful titles you can be given.  Until there is a better appreciation and understanding for the term; however, there will be no reason for current coaches to change current beliefs or seek out new skills.

Since negative connotations abound and coaching is a difficult concept to define in a sentence or two, I wanted to compare it with training to help you to understand my personal definition about coaching.  As you will see, training and coaching are related, but they are not the same thing. Here are 12 comparisons to help illustrate the potential difference between a trainer and a coach:

A Trainer Lights a fire under someone.
A Coach Lights A Fire Inside Of Someone.

A Trainer affects the hour they are with someone.
A Coach affects the hours they are not with someone.

A Trainer Hopes To Get Through The Session.
The Coach Hopes To Get Through To Someone.

A Trainer Forgets The Job Is Not To Remind People About Problems.
A Coach Remembers The Job Is To Solve Them.

A Trainer Stretches your legs.
A Coach Stretches Your Limits.

A Trainer Counts Your Reps.
A Coach Discounts Your excuses.

A Trainer Is concerned with How Much time you put in.
A Coach is concerned with How Much You put into the time.

A Trainer wants you to do your best.
A Coach wants you to do better than your best.

A Trainer is concerned More With How, Where and When.
A Coach is Concerned More With Who, What and Why.

A Trainer Works For A Paycheck.
A Coach Works For A Passion.

A Trainer Develops and Delivers Your Workout.
A Coach Creates and Cultivates Your Purpose.

Training is Something You Do To Someone.
Coaching Is Something You Do With Someone.

 

Years ago, circa 1990, in a galaxy far, far away, I started out training people in a local YMCA.  I was in charge of a new Nautilus room (wow, you will never hear those words in 2015!).  It was a good gig:  show them how the state-of-the-art machines worked, count their reps and make sure they didn’t injure themselves.  Fast forward to the mid 1990’s, where I was a “personal trainer” fresh out of college.  I designed programs, counted their reps, and made sure they didn’t get hurt.  I look back at those days and realize they were necessary steps, but, I was just a personal trainer.  In retrospect, I almost feel like I was short-changing my clients.  At the time, I thought I was doing an okay job, but I could not be more mistaken.  I was just a trainer.  Now, I am a coach.  What’s the difference, you ask?  Here is my take….

Almost all gyms have a personal training department; they are asked to train, to sell and get results.  Sounds good to me.  They meet their quotas, train some folks, go home and do it again.  By the way, the attrition rate for trainers is ridiculously high.  The average trainer leaves his/her job after only 12-14 months.  So, where is the disconnect?  I believe, they haven’t mastered the art of coaching yet!

The biggest distinction that I feel separates a trainer from a coach is the personal relationships that develop with coaches.  I made some unbelievable friendships when I owned and operated my personal training business, but nothing like the relationships that I have developed since I evolved into a coach.  In fact, I keep in contact with several of my previous clients to this day.  I realized very quickly, that while someone may initially hire a trainer to get them stronger, leaner, faster, bigger, the reason they continue to hire you is because of the relationship that organically develops.  Now, instead of the workout itself, I like to focus on the Big Picture items:

How can I move people from needing activity to choosing activity to LOVING activity?

How can I help someone find their awesomeness?

How can I help as many people as possible, in as many ways as possible, as often as possible?

At the risk of offending trainers who are reading this, the profession can learn a lot from the coaches of the world and less from the trainers of the world.  It is great to be knowledgeable, get someone to lose weight or set a PR in the bench press.  But, is there more?  Can you go farther, go deeper?  Can you challenge someone in all areas of their life, not just the physical?  Are you memorable, or forgettable? I forgot about almost of my coaches once I became an adult; it was no fault of their own, but no one really coached with passion and caring.

The real training happens between the drills, between the sets, between the sessions:  It is where the genuine lessons are taught, the true knowledge and wisdom is delivered and friendships are forged.  There is NO better feeling than hearing from a parent, coach or the athlete that we made a difference in some aspect of their life, especially if it comes several years later.

So, to illustrate this point another way, from one of the legends in the field, here is the great Vern Gambetta:

Coaching is not something you do to the athlete; it is something you do with the athlete. It is a cooperative venture, a partnership. Never lose sight of the twenty-four hour athlete concept. The athletes we work with train for two to four hours a day. It is a fundamentally unbalanced equation because the other twenty to twenty two hours have more of an impact on the athlete’s success or failure in their chosen sport than the training time. It is easy to fall into the trap of training not coaching. Training only pays attention to the actual workout; manipulation of sets, reps, heart rates, maximum lifts etc. Coaching on the other hand develops the whole person, mentally physically and socially. Coaching is working closely with the athletes to define their goals and give them the tools to be able to achieve their goals. Coaching is a creative process that takes imagination and enthusiasm. Coaching empowers the athlete to take a degree of responsibility for their actions. As the athletes career progresses the athlete should assume a greater degree of responsibility so that coach assumes more of an advisory capacity. Frank Dick, former chief coach of Athletics in Great Britain, put it best when he said that during the course of athlete’s career the coach’s role evolves from that of a guiding light to a mirror. Coaching, like parenting, teaching, and managing provide the roots to grow and the wings to fly.

 

Now that I have your attention, there is just a touch of sarcasm in the title of this post!  The State of Youth Sports is the lifeblood of author John O’Sullivan.    He gets it:  We are in big trouble and need to change the pattern in youth sports….now.  Instead of giving you my opinion, here is a great read from his site.  I agree 1000% with everything he says.